(By way of preface: This is being written for my benefit, as a reminder.)
As easy as we have it in the United States, daily existence is still filled with tough choices. We're lucky to be operating, for the most part, in the upper altitudes of Maslow's Pyramid - - but life continues to present us with dilemmas that force us to choose between an easy, wrong option and a hard, right option or between two equally difficult options. To steal a line from Mr. Adam Warlock of
What Would You Do?, what would YOU do?
THE TOUGH CHOICES:
* Being Faithful
Temptation - - you're married, or he's married, or you're both married, or you're both involved in some other exclusive relationship with someone else. But you're undeniably attracted to each other.
The easy choice would be to start a covert affair in which you can satisfy your own desire and longing - - an inherently selfish choice which exposes the spouses/partners of you both to emotional pain, the potential break-up of a family, the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
The tough choice? Respecting your own marriage and/or his. Recognizing the desire for an affair as a symptom, then dealing with the actual underlying issues. At the least, respect your partner and his by acting with integrity toward them - - delay acting, deal with current relationships, and end them cleanly before moving on.
Do what's right, even when it isn't easy.
* Speaking Up
When your viewpoint isn't popular, or when being honest might bring someone's wrath or tears down on your head, the easy choice is to remain silent. The consequences of remaining silent are that your viewpoint - - which is important - - goes without being expressed and you have failed to influence the process about which you have an opinion. The consequence of remaining silent out of fear of someone else's reaction is that you typically just delay their reaction, which is intensified when they finally find out what you should've already told them.
The tough choice? Speak up. Deal with the fall-out. Don't give up until the situation is resolved. Don't cave to the pressures applied by others, unless reason leads you to re-examine your viewpoint.
Do what's right, even when it isn't easy.
* Accepting Responsibility
Strange but true - - one of the most difficult sentences in the English language is "I'm sorry." When you've done or said something wrong, the easy choice is to refuse to acknowledge it - - maybe everyone will forget (say, by the next election). Another easy choice is to redirect responsibility to someone else so that you and the rest of the world can think it's not YOUR fault.
The tough choice? It's simple but it's hard - - say "I'm sorry" and avoid justifying what you said or did.
Do what's right, even when it isn't easy.
* Dealing with Other People's Emotions
When other folks feel strongly about something and express themselves with vigor or passion, it's tempting to pull away - - the easy answer is to excuse that withdrawal by categorizing strong emotion as "negativity" or "drama" or "a drain". Who said that you get to be happy and pain-free all the time? Where did you get the idea that you're separate and divisible from the people around you, that you don't have an influence on the people who know and love you?
The tough choice? Dealing. Hanging in there with people who are angry, or in pain, or grumpy. Recognizing that you have those days, too. Working through your own discomfort out of respect and compassion for the other individual.
Do what's right, even when it isn't easy.
Courage is seen in the smallest of acts, when someone chooses to do what's right at some personal cost. Little acts of courage and integrity and honor add up. Expect the best from yourself, every single day.
Two feet of snow. Digging out a neighbor's car. Shoveling off the deck three times. Having the day off from work. Finishing a good book next to a warm fire. Making hot chocolate.
